3 more days......

I have written this blog many times in my head, but every time I thought about signing on and really writing it, I couldn't. I'm not sure if it was because it all feels so real and scary or if I feel like I have other things that are more important to get done.

That aside, here I am, writing three days before the big surgery. I have been soaking up my kids--picking them up, cuddling with them and hugging them. We have had talks that mommy won't be able to pick them up after surgery, but I sure will want to. I've also enjoyed sleeping flat on my back, my side and on my belly--all things I won't be able to do for a while. And also all things that seem so trivial compared to other things people are going through. I think of my aunt who just found out she has breast cancer. They are hopeful that it was found early enough and they will only have to do a lumpectomy, but I still cried as I read the email. I cried because it is all too real. I cried for my cousins because I know how it feels to get that call- especially when you live far away. I cried because it made me sad that my aunt will have to go through all of the emotional and physical things that come along with this horrible disease. Luckily she is strong and has a very supportive family. That is 5 out of 8 siblings on my mom's side who have had breast cancer. Have I told you that I hate cancer!!!

Well, I'm feeling very blah right now. My emotions are strange--happy one minute, numb the next, and crying about who knows what the next minute. It has been a strange couple of days. I will write more tomorrow.

p.s. Found someone to clean our house while I am recovering. She is awesome and she cleaned it today. Now that made me happy!!!