Getting closer.

Well, a lot has happened in the "boobs of steal" world for me. Last week, I only added 25cc's to each side (this was recommended since the prior week was so horrible) and I had a great week. In fact, I ran the night of my injection and I hadn't done that in about 6 weeks. It was wonderful. Unfortunately, I spent the next day dealing with some soreness, but it was good for my mental health. I ran another time that week and even did my first fitness class. Things were pretty good UNTIL........

Yesterday. I went in for another injection and realized that I have to wait 8 weeks in between my last injection and my exchange surgery and I don't want these expanders in during the summer. So, I decided to go back to 50cc's. MISTAKE! Last night, after taking a pain pill, a muscle relaxant and then 2 alleve, I finally got a couple hours of sleep. It seriously felt like there was a war in my chest. I had sharp pains in my chest and in my arms all night long. No matter what I did I was miserable. I finally sat in a chair and tried to sleep (while I cried). Not a good night.

Today is one of those days when lack of sleep and soreness get the best of my mental state. I want to rip these foreign objects out of my body that make me look like someone who has balloons shoved into her clothes (except much harder!). It makes me want to sleep all day--if only it felt good to do it. Seriously, I love sleeping, but lately I dread it. Usually by Saturday it feels much better, but let me tell you......this exchange surgery can't come fast enough. AHHHHHH! Fortunately, some of my jeans don't fit, so I'm trying hard to control my eating--although my initial thought is to eat until the pain is gone. : ) Ok, I'll stop complaining.

My husband did bring flowers home for me tonight and we went out to dinner, so I didn't need to cook and clean up dinner. The day definitely ended on a good note.

Next Step: Thursday I meet with the plastic surgeon and hopefully get my LAST injection. I am getting closer......

Bad Day

I almost feel guilty telling about my horrible couple of days when I know so many people who are dealing with such major things in their lives right now. So, I will keep it short and as positive as my mind can be (I'm so tired and emotional).

* Had 50 cc's injected yesterday
* Didn't sleep at all because I was so uncomfortable and had pains in my arms and ribs.
* Took pain meds and muscle relaxant and it did nothing for me. Still no sleep.
* Dream about ripping my expanders out....a lot.
* Realize I have a ways to go with these things in and get a little depressed.
* Remind myself I opted to do this and it is a good thing.
* Still feel sad.........and fat.
* Feel as though someone is squeezing me tight and/or sitting on my chest when I breath
* Dreading going to bed now and praying I get some sleep--for my sake and my kids
* End the day with a Shamrock Shake--that's as Irish as it gets in our house.

Positive note: My kids have been so good at not hugging me tightly and being gentle when they are around me. Since my surgery we've done a lot of hand-holding, which I love. Last night, Haddon was upset and came into bed and grabbed my hand to hold it and tonight at a movie, Brady grabbed my hand and hugged it to his face. I love my kids. Just gentle reminders of why I did this surgery!!!

Four Weeks Post-Op

It is hard to believe it has been 4 weeks since my surgery (somedays it feels even longer)! Yesterday I went in for my second injection. I assumed it would be about the same as last week, but I was quickly reminded that nothing is the same (that's a loaded statement). Unfortunately, my breasts are doing their own thing--one is filling nice and neat and another one is filling high and makes life uncomfortable. This is normal and just due to how different our bodies are. So, as we chatted about how much she'd put in, she wanted me to be comfortable for my dad's wedding and stuck with 50cc's. At first I thought, "Come on, let's get this thing done." But after she filled my whacked out side, she went to the other side and it was SCREAMING as she put the saline in. It was tight and full! I am so thankful that she knows what she is doing. I can't imagine what I'd feel like if we had squeezed more saline in.

So, I walk around with rocks on my chest and no skip in my step. I have been given a little more freedom to add things back in......slowly. Of course, today I don't even feel like walking. By 6 weeks I should be able to do everything again--even run. We'll see how that goes.

This weekend is a big weekend. My dad is getting married. Of course, I love my dad and want him to be happy, but there is still a sadness. I know it will be weird to watch him commit his life to someone else and vow to love her. This is just another step in the process, but it also feels like another step in forgetting our mom. Please don't worry, my brain knows that my memories are all there, but my heart is what feels sad. I know the day will be fine, but it will be a hard one. Enough about that!

Let the injections begin.....

Well, I had my first injections today or what I like to call "fills". Fills because I want these babies to fill up already!! Of course I was feeling a little anxious about what this would feel like, so I was told to take a muscle relaxant and an aleve and it went great.

We showed up, I disrobed from the waist up (if I only had a dollar for every time I've heard that!) and we waited. It is funny how comfortable I have become baring my chest to complete strangers.....I mean, only dr.'s and nurses and friends. : ) The nurse, Nikki, came in with an assistant, waved a little gadget over my chest and marked where the ports were. She grabbed the syringe that was filled with saline and filled me with 50cc's. She's taking it slow so I'm not too uncomfortable. Brian watched as my boobs grew instantly. Kind of a weird sensation, but I knew it would be another adventure going into it. She also announced, "you are now a teeny bopper"--just to give you an idea of the progress. Ha! She also removed my surgical strips on my incisions. I haven't looked yet, but by the way Brian's faced looked, I know I am in for a treat. I think I have been so impressed with my results so far because I haven't seen the incisions. I'm bracing myself and praying it's not as bad as I think.

Things have been going really well. I am back to work (not 100%, but enough to feel good about it), I have stopped taking my pain meds with an occasional muscle relaxant for sleeping purposes, I can drive and I have even started walking a bit to keep my muscles moving. I am very happy that I am getting back to a "normal" routine and that I have more and more energy every day.

We have been so blessed with meals, flowers, calls and cards. I have felt so peaceful about everything and so loved and cared for. I am feeling good and looking forward to keeping the process going. I will go in next week for another injection and will be on my way to my next surgery--the exchange surgery. Nikki said she thought it would be about 4 or 5 months after my original surgery--June or July. Yippeee!

Thanks for reading and praying. Until my next exciting report.......